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Kid’s General Observations On Life

General Observations On Life

(Thanks to Lin Holden for sending these in)

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.” ‘How did you know?’ his mother asked. ‘Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,’ he replied. ‘I think it’s printed on the bottom.’

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, ‘Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.’ He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom. They’re the only feet I got!”

On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, ‘If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.’ A little voice from the back of the room asked, ‘How will that help?’

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, five, and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. ‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’ Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ‘Ryan, you be Jesus.’

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. ‘Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked.
bird
He died and went to Heaven,’ the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, ‘Did God throw him back down?’

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, ‘When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.’ ‘Well, thank you, the pastor replied, ‘but why?’ ‘Because my daddy says you’re the poorest preacher we’ve ever had.’

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, ‘Would you like to say the blessing?’ ‘I wouldn’t know what to say,’ the girl replied. ‘Just say what you hear Mommy say,’ the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, ‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.’ His son asked, ‘What happened to the flea?’