Emotional Intelligence — or EQ
In this podcast, Aaron and I have another lively discussion about what EQ is and why it’s essential in all areas of life.
A definition of EQ
Howard Gardner, Harvard theorist, says “Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them.”
It’s useful to have self-awareness before you try to understand others. Self-awareness includes the ability to perceive emotion as it happens and to then regulate that emotion and impulses as appropriate. It’s also important to have a deep appreciation of your values, as they form the motivation behind your actions.
Empathy is another aspect of EQ
Empathy defines how you relate to others; being able to listen, and to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, showing understanding and respect. I daresay you know people who are naturally very empathetic so you may wonder why it’s something people might want to learn. Well, perhaps think about some other people you’re aware of, who don’t seem to have an empathetic bone in their body! Empathy, along with other people skills make up your EQ and determine how well you get along with others.
Why should you learn EQ skills?
A recent survey in the USA showed that 92% of employers will hire someone with good EQ over someone with high IQ. People with high IQ are not bad people, in fact, they often have excellent ‘hard skills’.
Hard skills are usually skills taught in a classroom, university or on-the-job. They are easy to quantify and might include things like:
- Being able to operate a computer or a piece of machinery.
- Proficiency in another language.
- Accounting or engineering abilities.
- Trade skills.
But even great hard skills and a high IQ won’t get you very far in the workplace — or anywhere else for that matter. Organisations are full of emotional people; people from diverse backgrounds and with weird and wonderful personalities. Having the soft skills to work productively with them will take you much farther than your hard skills ever will.
They’re called Soft Skills — but that doesn’t mean they are easy!
It’s not easy for employers to teach EQ. It’s much easier to teach them a new computer programme than to teach them how to have better self-confidence or to listen so that people will talk. Thus, most organisations would prefer to employ someone with great soft skills and teach them the hard skills they need.
People with low EQ but good hard skills (they’re often technical types — in my experience) often do well after learning NLP. NLP provides the structure that underlies every soft skill. Most people don’t realise this; they think you either have these attributes or you don’t.
All you have to do is learn and apply the structure and it will transform your life.
Read Marcus’ testimonial as an example of the difference NLP training can make (fourth one down). You’ll notice that Marcus’ boss saw his potential and recommend The Power of Personal Change – MetaMorphosis 101 to Marcus. But, even so, Marcus didn’t really know what kind of training he was coming to. Once in our learning environment, he was like a sponge, soaking up every bit of learning and applying it straight away.
Aaron has great examples of people he’s worked alongside who had very few people skills, as well as some instances from coaching kids soccer.
There are many other skills that fall under the EQ banner. You’ll get a great grounding in them all on the NLP Practitioner Certification Training.
Take a listen below