Funny Quotes from famous people
I asked the barmaid for a quickie. The man next to me said, ‘It’s pronounced quiche.’
Luigi Amaduzzi, Italian Ambassador
The one phrase it is imperative to know in every foreign language is, ‘My friend will pay.’
England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
In England, an elevator is called a lift, a mile is called a kilometre, and botulism is called a steak and kidney pie.
I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
I was so ugly when I was a kid, when I played in the sand pit the cat kept covering me up.
In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.
When I was a kid, we had a quicksand pit in our backyard. I was an only child… eventually.
I can’t have children because I have white couches.
I do get broody occasionally – like when I’m lying on the couch and can’t quite reach the remote I think, a kid would be nice right now.