This podcast explores the sadness I experienced last week
It’s a side of me that I’ve never expressed before but it seems relevant to share. I hope it might provide you with some insights about the nature of sadness and some of the reasons we might struggle with it.
By connecting the dots that led to my emotional melt down, I figured out how I’d ended up where I did. I want to share this with you, in the hope that it will help you or those you love and care about.
Depression is an overused term
Depression has become an all encompassing expression that might cover a multitude of emotions. Often people aren’t depressed at all; they might be sad, anxious, frustrated or even grieving. I relate the story of a man who’d lost his wife but who hadn’t grieved at all. His lack of emotion sent a message to his small family that had a devastating effect on everyone.
Often, we’ve been taught that only positive emotions, such as happiness and joy are acceptable. We discuss the validity of all our emotions. In fact, when we validate them, they often dissolve. We need all of our emotions to experience a full life. It’s important to fully feel and acknowledge our emotions — rather than trying to get rid of them. The more we ‘push down’ our emotions, the more likely we are to become depressed. Tears are a sign that emotions are leaving the body — so why would be want to stop that from happening? We wouldn’t try ‘not’ to pee or poo, it would be unnatural to do so. Tears are just another substance that’s trying to leave the body. Personally, I always feel better after a good cry.
It’s important to remind ourselves that we can’t perceive how something happens, we can only perceive how something happened (past tense). We’d like to think we can predict what will happen — in fact the history books are littered with such failures. But we can only look back and connect the dots which have led us to where we find ourselves.
We can’t connect the dots when we’re in an unwanted state
When we’re in an emotional state such as frustration, anxiety or sadness, we don’t have access to the logical part of our brain. So at some point, after fully experiencing the emotional state, it’s important to access a more contemplative, rational and coherent state so we can determine and deal with the real issues.
Now take a listen to the podcast.