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The Problem Is Not The Problem

4 Jun 2019

The Problem Is Not The Problem

The real cause of a problem

In our efforts to help people resolve a problem, we may trust that a person’s version of their issue is the truth. I’m not suggesting that people deliberately lie about their problem. But the problem they’re experiencing is caused by the way they’re thinking about the problem, rather than the problem itself. Yes, I know that might sound cryptic!

The Problem is not the problem

Explaining the difference

Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them“. In this 22 minute podcast with Aaron Mooar on Raglan Radio, I explain the difference. We discuss how we often listen to someone talking about their issue for a short time, believe we understand, and then jump right in to try and fix it. In doing so, we undermine that person’s ability to solve their own challenges. An NLP Practitioner recognises that people have the resources to fix their own issues. The Practitioner’s role is to facilitate clients to discover their answers.

We communicate only about 2% of what’s in our head

It’s not that we’re deliberately withholding information about a problem, just that much of it is outside our conscious awareness. Talking through every bit of information would be extremely detailed and terminally dull. So we give a synopsis! Aaron and I discuss how using reflective listening skills — and asking questions — can facilitate someone connecting with the problem on a deeper neurological level. This reconnection stimulates deeper understanding of the real problem — and frequently — its resolution.

We consider about how language itself gives us an indication of what people are doing in their mind, and how this affects their behaviour. We use bullying as an example; the way a client perceives the bully determines that he’ll respond submissively. When the bullied person changes his perception of the bully, his submissive body language will also alter, thus resolving the problem.

Click the play button to listen and discover other examples.